IS there a less thrilling prospect than going camping?
If so, I’ve yet to hear about it.
Over the last number of years, Woman About Town and her friends have discussed a fabled camping trip that we could all go on that sounds like jolly good fun.
In these discussions we are all sitting around enjoying the great outdoors, playing instruments, toasting marshmallows, sipping beer and having all sorts of fun.
That’s opposed to the reality of camping in this country which is everybody huddled into a confined space hiding from the lashing rain and wind that’s threatening to tear down the tent.
Not to mention that you’re freezing your backside off despite the fact that it’s the middle of summer.
You don’t get any sleep either, for a number of reasons.
Firstly because, despite your best efforts to find a lovely, comfortable piece of grass, the tent is erected on the lumpiest ground imaginable.
You would get a more comfortable night’s sleep on the cobbles on the road outside the back of the Quays Shopping Centre.
Then you have to sleep with one eye open because, in the back of your mind, you’re terrified that a drug-fuelleddrifter-cum-serial-killer might stumble across your tent in the middle of the night, and decide to bash your brains in like a piñata.
It’s usually that weird guy who was giving you dirty looks in the local pub that you decided to pop into earlier in the evening.
You know the one. That lovely type of establishment that sees the clientele stop their conversations, and a deadly silence descend whenever someone they don’t recognise comes through the door.
Don’t forget about the thousands of insects who will feast on your body as you are sleeping either.
You can take all the precautions you want but you will still wake up with more hives than a bee collective. Waking up is also a particular treat.
Your hair looks like you have been electrocuted and your breath smells like you have secretly chowed down on dog vomit while everyone else was sleeping.
If anything camping is the best advertisement yet for the bed and breakfast industry.